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Rene Counselling
Rene Counselling
Pornography Addiction Therapy in Toronto and Online Across Ontario
When porn stops feeling like a choice
You may be here because porn has started to take up more space in your life than you want it to.
Maybe you keep telling yourself you will stop or cut back, then return to it. Maybe you are hiding it from a partner, losing sleep, struggling to focus at work, or feeling increasingly disconnected from your sex life, relationships, or sense of self. You may feel functional on the outside while privately carrying shame, secrecy, and a fear that this pattern is getting bigger.
You do not need to decide whether you are “bad enough” or “addicted enough” before asking for support.
At Rene Counselling, I provide psychotherapy for adults—particularly men—who are struggling with pornography use, compulsive sexual behaviour, secrecy, shame, relationship stress, cheating, and patterns that feel difficult to control.
Is porn use becoming a problem?
Watching porn does not automatically mean there is a problem. People have different values, sexual interests, and patterns of use.
The more important questions are:
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Do you keep using porn after deciding you want to stop or cut back?
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Do you turn to it mainly when you feel lonely, stressed, bored, rejected, anxious, or ashamed?
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Is it affecting your relationship, sleep, work, focus, sex life, finances, or self-respect?
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Are you hiding it, deleting history, lying, or feeling like you live a double life?
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Has your use become more time-consuming, more intense, or harder to control than you intended?
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Do you feel trapped in a cycle of use, guilt, promises to stop, and return?
If several of these questions feel familiar, it may be worth exploring the pattern with someone. That does not automatically mean you have a diagnosis. It means the behaviour may be costing you more than it is giving you.
For many people, porn is not only about sexual arousal.
It can become a fast and reliable way to change how you feel. It may offer a temporary break from stress, loneliness, conflict, boredom, anxiety, self-doubt, or the pressure to perform. The relief may be real in the moment, while the longer-term pattern can leave you feeling more isolated, ashamed, or stuck.
A cycle can look like this:
Stress, rejection, boredom, loneliness, or shame
→ porn for relief or escape
→ short-term comfort
→ guilt, secrecy, disconnection, or lost time
→ more stress and a stronger urge to escape
Therapy is not about making you feel ashamed for having sexual desire. It is about slowing down the cycle, understanding what your use is doing for you, and creating more choices between an urge and an action.
What therapy can help you explore
Therapy offers a confidential place to talk honestly about things that may be difficult to say anywhere else.
Our work may include exploring:
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The emotional, relational, and situational triggers behind your porn use.
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The role of stress, loneliness, shame, boredom, self-esteem, or avoidance.
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The difference between sexual desire, fantasy, habit, compulsion, and secrecy.
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How porn use may be affecting intimacy, trust, communication, or attraction in your relationship.
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Patterns of cheating, messaging, flirting, or sexual secrecy that may be connected to the same underlying struggle.
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Practical boundaries that fit your values and actual life.
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What a healthier, more intentional sexual life would look like for you.
There is no pressure to adopt someone else’s values about sex, relationships, or porn. The focus is on understanding your own values and whether your current behaviour is helping you live by them.
I work from an integrative, depth-oriented approach to psychotherapy. Depending on your needs, therapy may draw from psychodynamic and Jungian perspectives, cognitive-behavioural strategies, emotion-regulation work, and practical behavioural tools.
That means we can look at both:
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What is happening now: triggers, habits, access, stress, relationship conflict, and boundaries.
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What may be underneath it: shame, unmet emotional needs, early experiences, self-worth, fear of closeness, people-pleasing, anger, loneliness, or a divided sense of self.
The goal is not simply to white-knuckle your way through urges. It is to understand the pattern well enough that you have more freedom in how you respond.
This may be a good fit if you are thinking:
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“I keep promising myself I will stop, but I keep going back.”
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“I am scared my partner will find out.”
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“I am not sure if I have an addiction, but I know this is not how I want to live.”
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“I feel ashamed after I watch porn, but I use it again when I feel stressed.”
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“Porn is changing how I think about sex, women, intimacy, or myself.”
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“I am in a relationship, but I am hiding things.”
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“I feel like I have two versions of myself.”
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“I want to understand this before I lose my relationship or damage my life further.”
What to expect
Sessions are 60 minutes and take place virtually through a secure platform.
You do not need to arrive with the perfect story, a commitment to abstinence, or a clear answer about whether you are “addicted.” We can start with what is happening now, what you want to be different, and what feels difficult to discuss.
Initial sessions focus on understanding your situation, your goals, the impact of the pattern, and whether my approach is a good fit for you.
Frequently asked questions
EMDR Therapy
Porn
Cheating
People Pleasing
General
Take the next step
You do not have to wait until the pattern becomes a crisis.
If porn use, secrecy, shame, or sexual behaviour feels increasingly out of control—or simply no longer fits the life or relationship you want—therapy can be a place to understand it honestly and begin making different choices.
Rene Ng, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
Virtual psychotherapy for adults across Ontario
60-minute online sessions | $170 | No GST/HST
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